Bridging the heart through physical intimacy requires first laying down the foundation of emotional intimacy. In the case of PTSD, especially where sexual assault was involved, intimacy is difficult to establish due to the act of sex triggering the flashbacks and emotions of the traumatic event.
1. Drinking alcohol to blunt the memories during sex is not recommended.
2. Developing emotional intimacy involves allowing your partner to reveal how they see theirselves inside without judgement on your part. That acceptance is the glue that cements intimacy. Emotional intimacy must be present in order to create a "safety zone" where your partner feels safe enough to engage in intercourse.
3. Safe Touch. Touching in a nonsexual way releases a hormone called Oxytocin. This hormone leads to an increased sense of bonding and is the precursor of physical intimacy.
4. Don't skip steps. Emotional safety must be established prior to forging sexual relations. "Safe touching" is touching and focusing on the pleasant nature of the sensation itself without engaging in intercourse. Arousal may occur but it should be agreed ahead of time to not engage in sex prior to the exercise. Agree ahead of time to not discuss your individual reactions to the exercise prior to 24 hours to process your thoughts.
5. Sex without the safety net of emotional intimacy may be more harmful to your PTSD partner.
6. For more detailed information on developing intimacy, it is recommended that you work with a therapist who is familiar with a therapy technique known as "Sensate Focus."
God Bless, Till Next Time-
ANJYL
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